I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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