Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dignity is for republicans.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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