Please don't use social media to get back at me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize