Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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