Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize