Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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