dude i'm inner monologue high
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize