I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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