I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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