As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
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