Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize