OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize