so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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