its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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