honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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