I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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