question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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