so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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