my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize