The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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