Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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