Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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