that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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