I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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