Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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