You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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