last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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