Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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