Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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