i don't like sucking hair
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
