TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
