so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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