she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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