im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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