What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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