Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize