my mouth tastes like poor choices
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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