but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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