Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize