Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
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Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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