If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dick very happy bro
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize