I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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