I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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