Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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