dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize