addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize