Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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