I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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