Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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