My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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