9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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