Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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